A Space to Move

Sunday Meditation

There is something to be said for being humble. It’s hard. Each day we try to make our voice heard able the mountainous voices all shouting for attention. And we, as part of our human nature, want to be heard. We want to be valued, loved and honored but most of all we want to be heard. I wrote a poem today about a favorite of mine, Jimi Hendrix, and I got 500 likes. I was valued and heard.

Maybe part of the issue of 2020 lies in the fact we all want to be heard. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram all provide instant ways for each of use to be heard in the glory of our opinions, laments, anger and joy.

But what are we saying? I am right and you are wrong. If you don’t agree with me I don’t care what you say? As I was reading the lesson from Philippians today.

“If there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing of the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, make my joy complete; be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

These days I surely find my consolation in the Spirit. I am tired from work, from my doubts, my fears, my anger, my sense of helplessness in a world that changed in minute and didn’t leave me time to catch my breath. So I rest, pray and take consolation in my reading, poems, family and education to become a Deacon in the Episcopal church.

“Let the same mind be in you that was in Jesus Christ, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness.”

We can’t be in the same mind if we are looking at Jesus from different angles, different motives and different agendas. Can we? How in the world do we look at Jesus head on and straight ahead? I think the answer is with eyes of hope, minds full of questions, and hearts full of faith.
Eyes that see the possibilities in who we can become. Minds that can think and give voice to our own thoughts without degrading the other. I may not agree with the other, I may not understand the other but as a Christian, I am called to love the other.
Not an easy thing to do these days. How many times have I wanted to rail on something I read and feel makes absolutely no sense.

Further in Philippians-

“Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed me, not only in my presence, but much more now in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

We are called to work out our salvation as followers of Christ. My abiding in his teaching, living with each other in his love, I think the answers will become clear. Jesus didn’t boast but he tried to live an honest and true life, letting God work through him to show us the way to live in peace and harmony. Now is our one chance to “let the rubber meet the road”. Are you going to follow or not? Are you going to put Jesus’ words and actions out in front or hide them behind the shadows? Is this a year of coming sunlight or just another day fading into a black, hollow night?
Love your neighbor, become a servant of others, entertain the stranger, give and in return you will receive more that you ever hoped. Live a life that is fair and honest and when you stray, as we all do everyday, turn back and run into God’s loving arms waiting for you.

So easy and so very hard. Especially in this year of fear, insecurity, change, divisiveness, anger and sorrow we must look straight into the eyes of Jesus and let him guide. Writing this I feel better and more at peace. Fifteen, twenty minutes from now I will watch the news, read my Facebook post and be back in that place of helplessness and hopelessness. I can only pray that the help will ease me longer and the hope with guide me further until tomorrow.

“But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God; look forward to the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. Now to him who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand without blemish in the presence of his glory with rejoicing, to the only God our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power and authority, before all time and now and forever.
Jude 20-21, 24-25

Build yourselves up and pray in the Holy Spirit. Hold dear the love of God that enfolds each of us as we journey through life. The Creator will keep us from falling into the pain of separation, the idolatry of oneness and the wanting for more that we can ever use. God’s love with stand forever.

By noon today, I was exhausted. My knees hurt, my feet and hands felt more numb than usual, but as I looked out of the field, it was a good days work. I will rest well tonight. The lettuce, onions and cabbage have been laid in the soil and are waiting for sunshine and rain to help them grow. Flourish into produce that will feed people and help create a dream I have written about before- Sophia’s Farm and Sophia’s Seminary.

As I drove down 85 and then 95, I listened to the radio, not the news but music. A much loved song caught my attention, “Oh, I love this song” I think as I start singing the words. I love “Three Dog Night” and this was one of their best. I listened to the words that I have heard many times, filling with anticipation for the chorus with it’s lively beat and coming together of voices. Not only the lead singer, but children chiming in the background. Your’re singing now.

“The world is black. The world is white”.

Suddenly, I became quiet. I realized that the words of the song weren’t true. They were never true. Out of the anger and outraged in the past few months, came “The words aren’t true”.

In the last four weeks I have been taking a workshop sponsored by the “Richmond Pledge to End Racism”. There are fifty of us who meet, by Zoom, and discuss a difficult topic which is racism. In those short weeks I have learned more about myself and how I react to the world. I can’t speak for others, they have their lives to lead and there stories to tell. I wanted to dig deeper into history, into feelings, into ideas that form and shape who I am and how I interact with others.

Next week we are going to talk about the Black Lives Matter movement. It’s origins and beliefs and goals. Many of you may be thinking, “Well, all lives matter” and that is very, very true. Black lives matter has nothing to do with a fact that most thinking people are completely aware.

It goes deeper that that. Much deeper. Let me try to explain.
Let’s return to the song I spoke about earlier. It’s “Black and White”. The origin of the song goes back to the 1954 Supreme Court decision “Brown v. Board of Education. First recorded by Pete Seeger and later, Sammy Davis Jr. in the late 1950’s, the song had another opening verse,
“Their robes were black, their heads were white,
The schoolhouse doors were shut so tight,
Nine judges all set down their names,
To end the years and years of shame.”

By the time Three Dog Night did their recording, the verse was not included in an effort to make the song less tied to a specific time and place in history.

So, now the song, with its worldwide and timeless nature, becomes a hit of the 1970’s. A joyful song of everyone coming together, being equal and living in harmony. If only it were true. I drive to work everyday by Creighton Court on my way to Richmond Community Hospital. Diabetes, drug addiction, joblessness, lack of insurance are only a few of the problems I see in a community where children according to the song, have the same opportunities that my child has. A good education, good healthcare, a chance to learn in an enriching environment that will prepare him to continue his education in whatever manner he chooses.

What about the sixteen year old in Creighton Court. Poorly funded education, little resources, a culture of “this is the best we can do”, and a host of other ideas firmly planted years ago and watered by a culture that thinks “this is the best we can do”.

Read the words…
“The ink is black the page is white. Together we learn to read and write. The child is black. The child is white. The whole world looks upon the sight. A beautiful sight. And no a child can understand that this is the law of all the land. The world is black. The world is white. It turns by day and then by night. The child is black. The child is white. Together they grow to see the light. To see the light. And now at last we plainly see. We’ll have a dance of liberty.”

The words aren’t true. Well, the first verse is true. But maybe, someday, they all can be true, for everyone. If we can build ourselves up and continue to pray to the one that leads us with a steady hand. Always remember that we are all part of God’s creation and were created to love and be loved. In the mercy of that love we can look to each other with honesty and strive to be a world where the words of the song are true. The words of the song are just. The words of the song are fair. The words of the song can enfold us into the people were were intended to be.

“But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God; look forward to the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. Now to him who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand without blemish in the presence of his glory with rejoicing, to the only God our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power and authority, before all time and now and forever.
Jude 20-21, 24-25

Dear God,
We can, as a nation, as a world, pray for a better understand who we are created to be. We can build our selves up by remember that we are loved by God and told to love each other as we love ourselves. In this time of crisis and renewal, let us hold each other as God holds each one of us. So that we can rejoice giving thanks to God and grace to each other and all creation around us.
Amen

I reach for my the toes on my left foot.  The slight  numbness encircling the toes, creating a sense of distance and the inability to sense,to feel…anything. 

 I am reading Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States”.  This is my simple take on the first two chapters,

-A  new people come to a new land, take over the people their who were doing perfectly well for themselves, and then take other people from a distance land, minding their own business, and enslave them to perform tasks to make the new people rich and feel good about themselves.-

How are all those people doing today?  Some are yelling and killing each other.  Some are loving and defending each other.  Some are yelling and killing each other because they think that’s the best way to love and defend each other.  I think one way and you think another.  I will get you to think my way because I am right and you are wrong.  I must be right.  I will be right.  I just have to say the right thing that will convince you that I am right.  I will love you, defend you and make you understand that I have been right all along. 

 “You need to understand that you need to be just like me.”

“You need to understand that you need to be just like me.”

Say that again and let the numbness take over. Let the distance of separateness enfold you.  The words muffle you and their meaning dampen your spirit and send you into a world of erratic noise and lost humanity.

We have become numb and trapped in our own feelings of separateness and inable to feel, think or see the other.  Sometimes it fells like we all are disappearing.  A toe no longer joined to the rest by numbness.  

Isn’t there something we can do?

One of today’s readings is from Acts  11: 19-30.  In it we hear for maybe the first time, the word “Christian”. After Stephen’s martyrdom, they early followers of Christ scattered and told no one the good news except for the Jews.  But some decided to speak to the Hellenists about Jesus and what he had done for them.  The verses go on to say that “a great number became believers and turned to the Lord.”  Word got to Barnabas, a fellow disciple, he found Saul (Paul).  They went to Antioch and stayed a year preaching and teaching.  It says that it was at this time the believers were first called “Christians”. 

We have a problem here.  We’ve had a problem here….for a long time.  It’s time to keep working on it just like Martin Luther King and a host of others that have marched there way toward progress.  Howard Zinn also wrote a book on race, “Howard Zinn on Race”.  He talks about his years as a head of the Department of History and Social Sciences at Spelman College.  His time at the predominantly black college provided him with the “most interesting seven years of my life.”  He says,

     “Once the superficiality of the physical is penetrated and seen for what it is, the puzzle of race loses itself in whatever puzzle there is to the human race in general.”

There are many, many, many puzzles to the human race.  People think differently, act differently, react differently.  The puzzle of finding a way to respect those differences while jointly building up the whole.  That  is the work of humanity. 

My feet have been numb to racism. In my call as a Christian, I need to get understanding, knowledge.  I need to seed them deep in faith and respond as God is calling me.  Many of you know that I am in school to hopefully and prayerfully become a Deacon in the Episcopal church.  I am now what is called “formation”.  And boy do I feel myself starting to move and change and think about what it means to be a Christian.  I found out about Howard Zin in a workshop I am participating in called, “Richmond Pledge to End Racism”.  

Now I understand the word microaggressions- a indirect, subtle or unintentional comment that seems harmless but can actually be hurtful.  “I bet you cook great fried chicken.”  “Where are you from, really?”   Is there harm in that small phrase or question?  Take with workshop.

In the workshop,  we meet in small groups and discuss freely, the awareness of who we are through a different lens of inclusiveness.  It’s a wonderful, freeing experience to see the small strings that bind us into our own little corner of the world instead of valuing each other as  God designed us to be in creation.

I am also a part of Circles, RVA.  It’s mission is to bring people together, share our time talent and treasure, and make for a more embracing world for all.  I have been involved from the start, listening, learning and helping in what every way I can to help build a better Richmond.  

I helped to pick Roma tomatoes for the CirclesRVA leaders yesterday.  Some, because of expense, do not have access to healthy, home grown foods.  The tomatoes from Sophia’s Theological Seminary and Sophia’s Farm will provide the leaders and their families a taste from a farm that someday will be a farm and also a seminary where students will learn stewardship, a “holistic” approach to education, and be “commits itself to ecumenically and interfaith work, locally and globally.”  The tomatoes are waiting at Grace and Holy Trinity Church’s kitchen to be delivered to each home alone with a meal for the evening of the program.  By Zoom for now, instead of in our meeting place.

That’s the glimmer of light I see this week in a deluge of darkness and doubt.  Your glimmer may not be the same as mine.  There is much work to be done.  All need to have their voices heard through peacefully protest,  prayer and honest discussion.  On Zoom, in a back yard, on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, the food bank, the homeless shelter, the mansion on a hill and anywhere else that we can spread the word:

God is good.

If Christ’s life is God’s example to follow,

In Christ’s death and resurrection, we are all made whole. 

And in the words of the Richmond Pledge to End Racism:

I believe that every person has worth as an individual.

I believe that every person is entitled to dignity and respect, regardless of race or color.

I belive that every thought and every act of racial predjudice is harmful, if it is my thought or act, then it is harmful to me as well as others.

Therefore, from this day forward:

I will strive daily to eliminate racial prejudice from my thoughts and actions.

I will discourage racial prejudice by others at every opportunity.

I will treat all people with dignity and respect.

I will commit to working with others to transform the Greater Richmond region into a place that treats people of all races, ethnicities, and cultures with justice, equity and compassion,

And,

I will strive daily to honor this pledge, knowing that the world will be a better place because of my effort.

Pray with me.

May God’s love infold us,

Shelter us from the storm,

Guide us into new paths of wisdom,

Comfort us when hurting

Rejoice with us in hope,

And always let us rest in the arms of love.

Amen

If you want to learn more about Richmond Pledge to End Racism, Circles RVA or Sophia’s Farm and Sophia’s Seminary, check out the following websites:

CirclesRVA.org

sophiasem.org

Richmondpledge.org

1 John 3:19—4:6 (NRSV)

Word————-

By this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us. Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. And this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming; and now it is already in the world. Little children, you are from God, and have conquered them; for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore what they say is from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us, and whoever is not from God does not listen to us. From this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

Response———–

If we had Jesús then God abides in us. If we honor his commandments, peace with flow through us. But we are human and condemn us all the day long. Jealousy, hurtful comments, lack of understanding (just to name a few). seep into our lives and turn our hearts inward to darkness. We turn in instead of outward toward the light.

Hold you hand tight in a fist. Then open in complete freedom. Which feels better?

Dear Creator,

Guide us to always be open and ready to learn the lessons of your mercy. Help us to turn away from what is false and not listen to us in open relationship. For that is not from you.

Amen

cts 9:1-6(7-20) (NRSV)

Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any who belonged to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” He asked, “Who are you, Lord?” The reply came, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.”

“I will tell you what to do.” The older we get the mor choices we have to make. Sometimes we wish we go back to the past. A younger time in youth where choices are make for us.

But that’s not maturity. That’s not growth. Think how much Paul grew on that road to Damascus. His like was turned around 180 degrees and turned backwards.

And after a time he went forward into the future and into the arms of Jesus.

Dear Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer,

Help us to recognize the times when we are hurting and realize that we can always turn around and follow you.

Amen

So, it’s a Saturday after and I am sitting in an office interviewing a priest. It’s part of the discernment process. Instead of drinking wine with my friends, I am asking questions.

Do you have a call? A call to be something more? Of course, it there is not something to go towards, what is the point?

I want to be more than I am. But am I not enough? A wife and a mother. A medical social worker. A baptized Christian. A devoted church worker. Wait…go back. A baptized Christian. I am living into promises made for me before Christmas 1965. Promises I repeated in 1977. And again in 1997.

It seems about every 20-30 years the pot begins to boil again…..

The medical social worker has a theologian’s heart and a desire to preach. So, I am off to knock on the Big Red Doors.

1 Samuel 1:10-11, 20 (NRSV)

Hannah was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord, and wept bitterly. She made this vow: “O Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the day of his death. He shall drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.” In due time Hannah conceived and bore a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I have asked him of the Lord.”

If she only had enough faith. She so desperately wanted a child that in praise and thankfulness she would give in to the Lord. How much faith?…to be able to give away the one most precious to us. She is giving back to the Creator. The Creator who in love creates us. We share in that creation. So, like a math equation, we have not lost much, and have gained the most important…a piece of love. That will, I pray, suffice and sustain.

Luke 7:11-17 (NRSV)

Soon after healing the centurion’s slave, Jesus went to a city called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went with him. As he approached the gate of the town, a man who had died was being carried out. He was his mother’s only son, and she was a widow; and with her was a large crowd from the town. When the Lord saw her, he had compassion for her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Then he came forward and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, rise!” The dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. Fear seized all of them; and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has risen among us!” and “God has looked favorably on his people!” This word about him spread throughout Judea and all the surrounding country.

Another mother weeping for a son. I once was lost in the woods and on my journey out I began to pray, “Let my father live long enough to see a grandson.”

Years later I can remember the joy in my father’s eyes when my son was born. The were only to share a couple of years, but that would suffice. And now more years have passed and my son looks very much like his grandfather and the same age. A gift given by God to renew and renew again…..if you will only ask.

One step at a time toward the goal of inner strength, constant faith, and abiding love.